Why does the mail hate me?

Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from the University of Pittsburgh, subject line "Welcome". Of course my mind went right to "I'm in, I'm in, they contacted my by e-mail because it's an online program, I'm in."

No, it was some glitch in the online application process reminding me to finish up the app and send it in.

Today, I nonchalantly go to my mailbox to gather the mail. An envelope from Pitt! I snap into college application mode: "Oh no, it's a skinny envelope, I didn't get in, dammit."

No, it was a notice of a lecture series that I, as an alumnus, am cordially invited to attend.

And to top it all off - a subscription offer from Smithsonian magazine, advertising their "Senior Discount Rate".

Dear Universe,
It's not nice to jerk around the elderly.
Love, Pam