Thursday, June 23, 2005

Thoughts about a doctor's appointment

To, during and from an endocrinology appointment.

I can't believe I just put $30 of gas in my car. I drive a Jetta for god's sake. $30 of gas shouldn't fit in a Jetta.

Jeez, I'm glad I don't have to drive into Phoenix every day. There are just too many cars out here at rush hour.

Hey! Asshat! No, you cannot cross two lanes of traffic and get in that perfect spot in the middle lane. Know why? Because MY CAR IS ALREADY IN THAT SPOT.

Someone should tell that SUV that not only is their gas tank door open but the gas cap is bouncing merrily by it's little plastic cord. I'd tell them but people keep trying to merge into places I'm ALREADY OCCUPYING.

Maybe I'm invisible. Did I actually look in the mirror this morning? Was I there?

Wow, they've got Tovrea Castle wrapped up in a giant trash bag. Maybe that's the whole renovation, just trying to make it look like garbage so the trashmen take it away.

Turn signals - not just for ornamentation any more. In an amazing technological breakthrough, it has recently been discovered that turn signals can also be used to (get this) signal when you're about to turn. Freaky, no?

Why is the headquarters for the Tonto National Forest located on McDowell and 24th Street? There's not a tree around for miles.

According to the large white sculpture arching over McDowell, I am entering Chinatown. Why are all the signs in Spanish?

Those windows make Good Sam look like an ocean-liner.

Hey, who put that building there! Jeez, don't visit a place for a few months and a parking structure magically appears.

Check me out. I'm actually 3 minutes early. It's a Festivus miracle.

Wow, this office is cold. Really, really cold.

Yeah. Should've worn a thicker bra.

Yes, I know my primary doc screwed up the blood test. Would it help calm you down if I called her up and yelled at her? No? Then would you please shut up.

Did the doctor just say I have a bubbly personality? Me. Bubbly. There have been many words used to describe me. Bubbly is not one of them.

Whoo Hoo! Manipulatied prescription doses to confuse the insurance company!

3 months. Crap, I though it was going to be six before I had to come back. 8:45 appointment? Sure.

Much less traffic now. Why do I schedule appointments for rush hour? Am I incapable of remembering that Phoenix traffic SUCKS.

Oh crap. I just made my next appointment during rush hour, didn't I?

Bubbly?

Dude. This new ramp between the 101 and the Santan is CURVY. Like, getting seasick curvy.

Hello Sarah's cat. Please remove your little furry kitten butt from my keyboard.

Ok, dangling from my legs by your claws is not a viable alternative.

My allergies are acting up a little today, I keep feeling like I may snee...Hey! You just sneezed on me! Cats sneeze. Who knew.

Hi Lucy. Yes, a cat was sitting on me. No, you don't know the cat. Maybe one day you'll meet the cat. But probably not. Can I please come in the front door now?

3 comments:

Eva said...

Tonto either got the building for free or for $1/year. Why do you think our training center is under the Stack? ;)

Sara said...

LMBO!

African Kelli said...

I think the Tovrea Castle should be sacked too. We always called it the birthday cake house when I was growing up.
I do commute into Phoenix every day and keep reminding myself to take the bus where I could at least knit for the 1 hour drive.