Sunday, February 05, 2006

All Hail Mr. Doo

Please take a moment to go and bestow birthday salutations upon Mr. Doo, the cat who, in just 4 short years, has become 99.99999% pure evil. Trust me, it's probably in your best interest to do this, you don't want to be on his shit list when he gets that last 0.00001%.

Mr. Doo's official biography:

Mr. Doo, Resident Evil and Gato Diablo

Mr. Doo, whose first name is Fez, is the Shrone's baby. He is spoiled with cheap 50¢ cans of tuna that are dispensed to him almost every time he swarms in the kitchen. His mission in life is to receive as much love and attention as possible, but only after he has solidified his plan of Total World Domination and killed The Smudge.

He celebrates his birthday on February 12th, though his exact birthdate is unknown. He weighs as much as a good-sized Christmas ham. He will be 4 years old on his next birthday.

Additional Information:
He is a proficient escape artist capable of making himself paper thin. He sticks his head out of the cat door to spy on the world and find his next victim. He can be seen impersonating a gargoyle out on the deck above the circular driveway. He has no fear. He has multiple nicknames: Mr. Tang, The Insistant, Fuzz Monkey, Monkey Butt, and Evil Beast. His evil rating is at 99.99999% pure.

1 comment:

The Shrone said...

You are Mr. Doo approved! (Consider yourself worthy and thanked.) He especially appreciates that you want to be on his good side. You will be permitted to live once his plan for Total World Domination comes to fruition!