In which I am covered in salad dressing and despair

As Anonymous so aptly noted in the comments of my last post, I've been gone for a while now. I've been in a bit of a rough patch, I'm hanging on by a seemingly invisible thread at work and it's just sapping my energy to do much else that requires higher brain function.

Since we last spoke I:

• did get an iPod, it's cute and green
• almost finished a very large, oddly colored afghan
• made a Clapotis for my Mom's birthday
• went to Florida to visit my parents and see the new house they bought there
• helped with one day-long conference with a speaker that was determined not to exist (kids and drugs and no one want to speak about it? Seriously?)
• was a major player in a day-long conference that no one wanted to sponsor (hospitals saying they're sorry for f'ing up apparently strikes fear in the heart of drug companies and lawyers)
• ate $40 crab cakes (on someone else's dime)
• inhaled a metric crapload of mohair fiber
• watched a lot of dvr'd tv
• committed myself to spend a weekend sticking mailing labels on 8,000 brochures for yet another day-long conference for which I am almost solely responsible
• took approximately 3 billion pictures of manatees
• did some serious research into non-pharmaceutical treatments for depression and came to no firm conclusion on validity and safety
• invited Mel to come visit and go to Maryland Sheep and Wool with me (p.s. She accepted!)
• had my right eye swell shut for 24-hours due to a medication reaction (and, yes, it was a workday and, yes, I did go to work. For I am a goofus)
• spent too much time feeling sorry for myself about workload, lack of energy and assorted life obstacles
• went to the Homespun Yarn Party with Eva and bought pretty yarn
• avoided turning on my home computer with a zeal matched only by my desire to eat my weight in Tastykakes

and, most notably:

• managed to cover myself from bangs to belt in Italian dressing, thanks to an exploding squeeze bottle at the weekly Grand Rounds I run. In front of my boss. And others.

So, that's what I've been up to. That and reading.

12. The End of the Alphabet - CS Richardson. Arizona book club.
13. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: A Hmong Child, Her American Doctor and the Collision of Two Cultures - Anne Fadiman. Hospital book club.
14. Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen. Still an excellent book.
15. Serenity Found: more unauthorized essays on Joss Whedon's Firefly Universe - edited by Jane Espenson. Such a good TV show I'm forced to read about it.
16. The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield. Hospital book club.
17. The Dark Tower: The Dark Tower VII - Stephen King.
18. Off Ramp: Adventures and Heartache in the American Elsewhere - Hank Stuever. Highly recommended, especially for suburb dwellers like me.
19. Back on Blossom Street - Debbie Macomber.
20. Deja Dead - Kathy Reichs. Arizona book club. Didn't really care for it. Neither did the book club.
21. Death du jour - Kathy Reichs. But that didn't stop me from reading her second book. However the second book has stopped me from reading her third.

Pictures when my brain starts up again.

Hi

I'm back and with not a whole lot to show for it. Many things in progress, not a lot done.

I did finish Mel's belated birthday present.

Pre-felting, with clogs and dog.

Post-felting



And the bottoms.



Pattern: Fiber Trends Felt Clogs
Yarn: Lamb's Pride Worsted in Strawberry Smoothie, held doubled and some "rayon chenille" in red and black
Needle: Knit on size 13, 24 inch, plastic. Rayon sewn on in loops with tapestry needle.
Bottoms: Fiber Trends' Suede 2-piece Slipper Bottoms

I got all the yarn at the Mannings while I was living with my parents. That is seriously one of the coolest places ever. (Lolly thinks so too.) Wheels and looms and yarn and fiber everywhere. Also, many cats. I'm guessing the chenille was a 'home-grown' yarn because the label was plain white with "rayon chenille" and the yardage typed on it. That's is.

I used 4 skeins of the Lamb's Pride but ended up with two half skeins because I was holding it doubled. I then used the leftovers to make a garter-stitch birthday scarf for a co-worker. There are pictures but they're trapped in the camera.

Here's a partially completed blanket made with the Jo-Ann Sensations Rainbow Boucle in the aptly named "Green Print." I was making a log-cabin but I tired of binding on and casting off so I just went a little wacky with the random squares. It's finished now and there are pictures but, again, camera hostages.



Library Plug!



Pamie's doing her book drive again and I encourage you all to go a donate a few books to some needy libraries. Do it 'cause Dewey's so darn cute!

Only one book to report. I'm acting atypically for me and have actually started two books recently and put them down unfinished. Nothing really wrong with them and I'd gotten about halfway through each but they just weren't what I was looking for. I did finish this one.

11. Island of the Sequined Love Nun - Christopher Moore. Less woo-woo then Coyote Blue, which is good in my opinion. Very funny, touching on organ trafficking, cargo cults and talking fruit bats with sunglasses. For me, the best part came in the Afterword: "My approach to research has always been 'Is this correct or should I be more vague?'" I'm always a fan of a good research joke.

In other news, I just got DirecTV and a DVR so I'm planning on never leaving the house again. Except to go to the gym because I'm going to buy an actually iPod soon so I won't go insane while exercising. I have to say, having a positive income is much better than the negative one I've been dealing with the last few years.

Sorry about that

I managed to warp the space-time continuum and schedule Grand Rounds 4 years ago instead of last week. So, if you suddenly felt discombobulated for an hour or so last Thursday please accept my sincere apologies. And beware because I managed to do the same thing for the last week in February; that Thursday will also be taking place 4 years previously so load up your iPod with some "Hey Ya", ready your best wardrobe malfunction jokes and prepare to party like it's 2004.

Note to self: Proof-read entire date prior to hospital-wide flyer distribution. Dumbass.

In other hospital-adjacent news, I've joined the Fitness Center. The clientele is generally older and there are a lot of health-related hoops to jump through but it's about a 3 minute walk from my office so I'll be more inclined to go. And, as I was told during my introductory tour, if I collapse during a workout the ER is Right There across the parking lot so...bonus.

Besides being a doofus and planning my grand re-entry into the world of active people, I've been reading.

6. Lance Armstrong's War - Daniel Coyle. The hospital book club. I know very little about Armstrong or bike racing and this book didn't really help. The author tried but you really needed to have more background than I have to get the full effect. Also, professional bike racers are insane.

7. The Complete Idiot's Guide to the World of Harry Potter - Tere Stouffer. Impulse selection at the library. This would be helpful if you didn't know much about Britain or had trouble keeping all the spells and monsters apart and it did a nice job of explaining the origin of the names Rowling chose. But it needed a much better copy-editor (ironic coming from the girl who caused a rip in time, I know.)

8, 9 and 10. The Bromeliad Trilogy: Truckers, Diggers and Wings - Terry Pratchett. Very cute books. Nomes (not gnomes) who live in a department store and need to leave when the store is going to be demolished. They are very literal and wonder why the humans don't follow the signs saying "Dogs and Strollers must be carried on Escalator." Most of the humans carry neither dogs, nor strollers. The nome's deity, Arnold Bros (est. 1904) doesn't seem to care though.

Decimal points are important

Oh goody, my paycheck has been deposited.

Why is it half the amount it should be?

What's the large amount of money deducted for DivInv%?

Is that my 403B retirement account? I thought I decided to put 5% per check in that.

That's not 5%. That's more like...oh crap.

"Hi, I think someone needs to check their math. There's a really big difference between 0.05 and 0.5."


Note: It's all fixed now. Payroll may screw-up but they do fix things quickly.

Phoenix vs. NOVA part 23

Vultures. I know there were turkey vulutes out in the deserts of Arizona but they didn't wander into the city...ever, as far as I saw.

Here in Northern Virginia (and south central PA) they have black vultures.

Sometimes a dozen of them will hang out on barn roofs on foggy mornings just to give a poor, defenseless girl the wiggens on the way to a job interview (Thanks Gettysburg, I spent the next 20 miles saying "They had to be gargoyles. No, one of them moved. But they looked all lumpy and staring. gahh.*shiver*)

Sometimes they hang out in groups of 5 by the side of the road in front of my complex and wait for a break in traffic to try to eat a freshly squished cat. Creepy little bastards. But Mother Nature showed them! The FSC was frozen solid in short order, thwarting the carrion removal service. And it stayed there for 2 more days...ok, they may be creepy but an hour of creepy would have been better then having to drive by the FSC 6 more times (it was really quite S'ed).

In other news - I have been knitting away but I can't show you any of it. On a related note: Mel - get ready to have a happy belated birthday in a few days, complements of the USPS.

And finally:
5. What the Dead Know - Laura Lippman. Something about this was off and I just couldn't believe any of the characters. The idea was a good one - two girls are kidnapped as teens and a woman claiming to be one of them shows up 30 years later - but the flashbacks didn't work well and hardly anyone was sympathetic. And no Tess Monaghan.

Update

Sorry to leave you all hanging like that. Well, maybe it was just Mel who was wondering...

The mattress arrived at 3 pm, right in the 1 to 4 window they gave me at 8:30. So I did get a nap from 9 to 11 (again on the couch) and it was much better because Lucy was busy sleeping in a sunbeam in the kitchen and I didn't have to share. The dog has no sense of proportions; I'm three times her size therefore I get three quarters of the couch. She thinks because there are two of us, she should get half. Great for her, not so great for me.

My bed seems to be about 3 feet higher then it was in Phoenix. My nighttime routine now include a little running start so I can hop in. Lucy is using her trunk/step and isn't having any issues. It's possible I shrunk while traveling cross-country.

I like the new mattress but it's a bit stinky with that weird chemical smell. I keep trying to let it air out but it's about a bajillion degrees below freezing here which contraindicates opening the windows for more than 5 minutes. Hopefully the stink will dissipate soon.

After my exciting Saturday day of waiting for a mattress, I actually left the house three times on Sunday (this is odd for me, once is usually enough.) First I had lunch with Eva! And a very good lunch it was. But, more importantly, it was with EVA! Later I walked Lu for about 30 seconds before my boogers froze and I made her go back in. Then I met some co-workers at a Mexican restaurant because the former librarian is back to train me for another week (thank god, I need it.) And I ate entirely too much (for the second time that day) so I came back home, watched the Amazing Race and then went to bed on the stinky mattress.

I believe you're all caught up now. Aren't you relieved? That vague sense of unease has left you and you're no longer carrying all that tension in your shoulders.

Oops, I forgot one thing. Sorry. Try to relax, it won't happen again.

4. Song of Susannah: Dark Tower VI - Stephen King. I don't like this one as much as the others, I think it's because the characters are separated for the majority of it.

Oh my darlin'

Oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' new mattress
As I sit here waiting for you
I'm afraid to leave the nest.

I might miss you
And if I miss you
Tonight will be so very long
I deflated the old air mattress
Who know that could be so wrong.

Spent the night here
Spent the night here
Spent the night here on the couch
Lucy doesn't share well
And for this I surely vouch.

So I sit here
And I wait here
For the mattress to arrive
Hopefully you will show up here
Before the store closes at five.

Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin' new mattress
I can't wait to finally meet you
And tonight I'll get some rest.

One thing that followed

My perpetual wrong number, Mabel, has followed me from Phoenix. She's still trying to reach Sherri, still incapable of listening to my voicemail introduction and still refusing to tell me what number she is trying to reach.

In previous calls Mabel (who sounds about 107 years old and is hard of hearing) has been arranging airport rides, informing Sherri of her well being and, most importantly, clipping articles about a woman who was bitten by a bat AND LIVED. Sherri was supposed to drop by and pick that one up. Hopefully there wasn't a bat victim out there thinkin' they were about to kick off because Sherri never got the message. I did.

Tonight Mabel called because she is concerned about human cloning. As we all should be, obviously. I think Mabel has the right idea: "Well (long pause), we'll just have to see what happens."

One More

Another hint that I'm no longer in Phoenix?

The large amount of snow I had to dump out of my high-heeled shoes. And the hood-up, duck-walk, slush-avoiding activities that led to the accumulation of said snow.

Note to self: Bring pair of flats to work. And some socks.

The Little Things

I'm not saying I don't like Northern Virginia. I like it here just fine. But there are some things that make it abundantly clear that I'm not in Phoenix anymore.

I haven't walked around barefoot since November. Prior to November I was barefoot approximately 16 hours a day. Now, my toes only see sunlight when I'm bathing or asleep. And, now that I think about it, there's no literal sunlight during either of those activities so my toes are probably extremely deficient in Vitamin D.

My car is covered is crap. In Arizona I had a license plate in the back and a Save Roe Now bumper sticker. Now I have a plate in the back AND the front, an inspection sticker in the middle of my windshield, a city sticker next to that, an apartment complex sticker on the back window and a hospital parking sticker on the review mirror. And the bumper sticker which is looking a little ragged and needs to be replaced.

Stairs. Phoenix was a largely horizontal city, Virginia is more vertical. 'Nuff said.

In other news, Stage 4 of New Employment apparently lasts 3 weeks. Maybe week 9 will start Stage 5.

And finally:
3. Wolves of the Calla: The Dark Tower V - Stephen King.