Sunday, November 13, 2005


Saturday was shaping up to be a pretty good day. I had spent the morning at City Cafe, finished the front of my sweater and started the first sleeve. I had a chocolate croissant and a mozzarella and tomato sandwich (not together, ew) and a fun old time.

I changed for the wedding in the bathroom (I'm pretty low-maintenance) and headed to Fountain Hills. I didn't get lost and I got there early. The actual ceremony was very nice, looking out over a valley, flowers and butterflies everywhere. The bride was gorgeous, the groom was...slimy as ever. The fact that the two of them actually got married was depressing. But everyone kept that fact to themselves.

Cocktails and appetizers and dinner and dancing and cake and really crappy toasts. I met a new couple (old to the rest of the group) and they seem really cool. We were all mostly sober (no one was falling over at least) and joking and clowning around on the dance floor. It was fun.

At one point, 4 of us went to the honeymoon suite to do some... redecorating. This isn't something I'd normally condone (not a huge fan of practical jokes) but there was a long, proud history of this group doing it to each other and it was kept well within bounds. TP, furniture moved around, stuff written on the mirror in soap. Nothing permanent, nothing dangerous, nothing that wouldn't take 5 minutes of easy clean-up to bring the room back to it's original condition. Again, it was fun.

The reception wrapped up at 10 and we all went our separate ways. After driving 45 minutes home (who the hell has a wedding in Fountain Hills when everyone lives in Chandler?) I greeted the dog (thanks Mel, for checking on her) and got ready for bed. It had been a good day. So the bride was making a mistake, she was happy about it at least. The night reminded me of why I liked hanging out with this crowd, a fact I had forgotten.

And then the phone rang. One of the Bedroom 4 had just received a loud, threatening, profanity-laced call from the groom. She was being blamed for everything and had apparently "ruined the entire wedding". The bride was "crying hysterically" and they were both "never going to speak to [her] again". There was some quick phone chain work and a few calls were made to the bride to apologize. More yelling, racially-motivated cursing, profane name-calling and hanging up on people ensued. None of which was done by the 4.

Let me reiterate. The bride had pulled this trick on at least one of the Bedroom 4 prior to this. Her new husband had desperately tried to do it to another member at their wedding 2 years ago, but was thwarted at his attempt. Nothing was damaged, nothing was permanent and it was meant as a joke. The bride's sister and mom found it wildly amusing. The bride actually got a peek at it before the end of the wedding and thought it was funny.

Many feeling have been hurt at this point and it seems that some years-long friendships have been trashed for good. The general consensus is that the groom (who had an anger management issue. Really. Court-ordered counseling and all) was the one who couldn't take a joke and influenced the bride to act that way. And we wouldn't be surprised if he forbids her from ever talking to us again. A week ago I would have said the bride would laugh in his face if he tried something like that. Now, unfortunately, I think she might listen to him. And that makes me very sad.

So the day ended badly, really, really badly. Trust me, I have tried to think of every conceivable excuse for their behavior (stress, drunkenness, rabies, demonic possession, etc) and there was no excuse for the way they reacted.

And we're right back to Congrat-u-fucking-lations.


Anonymous said...

You guys should have worn these to the wedding:

noricum said...

Ugh. :P

Luscious Gracious said...

The girls TOLD you to stand up and object!!!!!! Sounds like at least you would have had a few "I second that"'s backing you up in the audience.....

Sara said...

I hate to hear this. I feel really bad for the bride...

Heather said...

What a freaking disaster. I'm still shaking my head over this one. Have you heard anything else?