Monday, August 14, 2006

Stella and the Shawl: a Fable

Once upon a time, there was a little round princess named Stella. Her skin was a bit cyanotic and she had some wack-ass hair, but she was a happy, friendly girl. She had her pretty red shoes and her jaunty green bow and she lived happily in a high castle, overlooking the forest.

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One day, while traipsing thru the forest, she spied a lovely blue shawl draped over a nearby shrub.

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"Why, my fairy godmother must have left that beautiful shawl for me" said Stella. "It could be for no one else, for its shades of blue go so lovely with my skin."

So, Stella tried to collect the shawl, but there were problems.

A dreadful storm arose, with blustery winds and the threat of rain.

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Fortunately, a friendly giant happened by and untangled her.

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With hard work and perseverance, Stella was able to get the shawl into a nearby hut. She was spreading it out to look more closely at the fine craftsmanship when all hell broke loose.

"Eek!" cried Stella, "A horrible monster approaches!"

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"Maybe it didn't see me" Stella hoped, with her eyes tightly shut.

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But it was not so. The horrible monster was following Stella, carefully sneaking behind the fair maiden, waiting for the moment...

...it would POUNCE!

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Luckily, the camera crew that was taping Stella for her new reality show (look for it on the DIY Network next spring) was able to stop the brutal attack and get Stella and her hard-fought-for shawl back to her safely elevated castle.

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And she lived happily every after. At least, until the monster figured out where she lived from her My Space page and started stalking her.

After repeated restraining orders did nothing to assuage the monster's sick, twisted interest in Stella, she was forced to join the Witness Protection Program and is now living happily in an undisclosed location.

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The moral of the story is: scary monsters really like lanolin but they don't know how to open the fridge.

The Cast
(in order of appearance)

Stella - needle felted fiber on styrofoam ball. Technique taught by Terry of Tempe Yarn and Fiber.

Shawl - Acrylic mohair-like yarn on size 11 needles. Garter stitch with yarn-over increases at the beginning of each row.

The Friendly Giant - as herself.

Scary Monster - Lucy Lu, who's worried she may be getting typecast.

8 comments:

Deneen said...

It has finally happened-you found the edge and went over it@

SheCrochets said...

Hee hee... you had me smiling before I had finished the first cup of coffee ~ and that's hard to do! Stella is cute... but I think the monster is cuter!

Sarah said...

Pam, you are a funny writer!

Loved the fable and NO, Lucy is not typecast.

Creative Genius? said...

Ummmm Pam??? We need to talk!! I think your stresses are getting to you a bit :-)

No really - too funny! And Lucy is such a great actress!!! Nice writing!

Thanks for the good wake-up material!

Mel said...

I thought I would never be able to fully wake-up today. Now I am. Thank you Pam. That is the most entertaining post I've seen in a long time. I think it rates right up there with the Borat movie preview! But I think Stella still looks like a Pac-Man Drag Queen!

Heather said...

You are so funny! Mel might be right. Stella looks very much like Pac-Man.

Deneen? Pam went over a long, long time ago. But we stick our heads over and wave from time to time. She seems quite happy there.

Luscious Gracious said...

Oh, that PacMan DragQueen looks a bit like a muppet. No offense. And Lucy looks like she wishes Stella had a creamy lard-laden filling. Ummm, Hostess.
Love,
k

Jewels said...

LMFAO, omg this storyland post was awesome!! Good thing the princess blue does not have a milkbone necklace!! Lucy's so precious.